Madrid, Spain

Cheating slightly here, because I did technically finish my American road trip and fly home, but I only stayed one night in the UK before heading out again - to my old haunting ground of Madrid, for five nights of fiestas and tapas and cervezas (and on one occasion a taco bell), with my mate Neale. 

My holidays for this year are now definitively over. But what a nice way to sign off. I pledge solemnly that my 2023 travel blog will not involve either the USA or Spain; indeed, if the pound falls any further, then the 15-year anniversary blog of los viajes de Edd may end up coming to you from a campsite in Skegness. Nonetheless, have a great rest of 2022 in the meantime. Adios.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin (revisited)

As I write, the pound sterling has just sunk to $1.14, its lowest level since Marty McFly first jumped into the DeLorean. This, plus burgeoning inflation, plus the war, means that compared with earlier American travels I'm paying double or more for everything: car rental, petrol, motels, AirBnBs, beer, food. This is all first world problems, of course. But I do miss the good old days of getting two dollars to the quid. You don't know what you've got til it's gone.

There haven't been many big cities on this trip, but of those I've visited, Milwaukee was the best by a mile. So it was a no-brainer to come back here for a brief spell of leisure before flying home. It's full of good breweries & taprooms, and it's easily accessible via Chicago. Accordingly it's an ideal place for a lads' holiday, and I look forward to discussing this with the lads once I'm back.

The way I've mixed city & country on this trip has given me a vivid picture of the divisions in American society. Big cities are full of tattooed and pierced social justice warrior types riding electric scooters; rural areas are full of sports-loving God-country-family types driving pickup trucks and Harleys. The two groups don't mix well. I have to say that, given the choice between a vegan nut roast with the former or a barbecue with the latter, I'd load up on beer & sausages every time. Although I'd have to keep my mouth firmly shut when it came to God, abortion, gun control or universal healthcare...

But I can never be too hard on our Stateside cousins. It's more than 100 years since they took over the mantle of global leadership from us, and despite everything they hold it still; and I'm in no hurry for them to give it up, if only because when they do, it'll be the Chinese Communist Party that takes the reins. Centuries from now, when the history of the USA is written, there will be much talk of Decline and Fall. But I firmly believe that we are not quite yet in the Fall, and we should be thankful for it. Again, you don't know what you've got til it's gone.

One more blog to go and you won't guess where from. Unless of course you already know.

I can't be the only hungry expat Brit to see this font & colour scheme and think...
....sausage rolls!

Edd vs Food #111
Healthy eating...
Feta carrot tartine at Centraal, 2306 S Kinnickinnic Ave, Milwaukee
Garam masala carrot purée, crumbled feta, caramelized walnuts, balsamic vinegar, grilled sourdough

Edd vs Food #112
Unhealthy eating.
'Hodge Podge' at Benelux, 346 N Broadway, Milwaukee
Melted cheddar, bacon, sausage, fried egg, potatoes, chorizo cream gravy, pico de gallo

Edd vs Food #113
Somali goat platter at the Blue Star Cafe, 1619 North Farwell Avenue, Milwaukee 

My UK-USA plug adaptor (left) looks vaguely like a 'Scream' mask.
The USA sockets (right) look vaguely like they're frightened by it.

Google map of the places I've visited in the USA.
Doesn't include gas stations and coffee breaks.
Time to address other countries, starting in 2023.

Arkansas

There are 50 states in the United States. Hawaii is an island (several islands in fact) in the Pacific; Alaska sits on the far side of Canada. The other 48 are all in one big lump and are generally referred to as the 'contiguous' or 'conterminous' states. They're sometimes called the 'lower' 48, but this is a bit misleading as it dates from before the statehood of Hawaii, which is 'lower' than any of them.

I've never been to Hawaii or Alaska, but after my fleeting visit to Arkansas I can now say that over the past fourteen years I've set foot in every single one of the contiguous 48. Reaching this milestone was, rather trainspotterishly, one of the main reasons for making this trip. I am so proud of myself. 

This blog will of course get to Hawaii and Alaska at some point, make no mistake about that. Undoubtedly I'll also come back over here in future years for shorter trips, like social occasions and perhaps the odd hiking holiday. But there will be no more blogging from the contiguous 48. My appetite for long-distance American road trips is now quite definitively exhausted, and I must find new worlds to conquer. Ideally, worlds in a more convenient time zone for watching Test cricket matches that begin at 11am BST. And worlds with a more favourable exchange rate to the pound sterling. 

Speaking of the pound, it's always a bit strange to have to come home and re-acquaint myself with the old familiar British coins after a month or two of nickels and dimes and quarters. This time it'll be considerably more strange to find that some of those British coins have a new portrait on one side of them. (I take it you've all heard the news by now.) I wish His Majesty the very best of luck in his new job. I'll need a new job myself pretty soon, but in the meantime I still have a couple more updates to come before going home.

Waterfall at Tanyard Creek, Bella Vista, Arkansas

Woolly mammoth at the Museum of Native American History in Bentonville.
Did I mistake this mammuthus primigenius for a mammut americanum?
I guess I mastodon.

Another exhibit at the Museum of Native American History.
Even traditional native societies were not immune from the scourge of the man-bag.

This is how we roll.
This is also, from time to time, how we sleep.

Only in America (part one):
It's OK to go shopping while armed, provided that you hide your gun.

Edd vs Food #109
Southern fried chicken with gravy & mash
Hiwasse Diner, 13548 W State Highway 72, Hiwasse, Arkansas
Only in America (part two):
You order gravy and they ask you what colour.

Edd vs Food #110
Chicken & bacon ranch in a garlic wrap with french fries
B List Burger Bar, 1721 Forest Hills Boulevard, Bella Vista, Arkansas
Only in America (part three):
Wraps like this. They're never quite as good anywhere else. They just aren't.

Kansas

Kansas is tornado country, and this is tornado season, and I was childishly hoping I might get to see one. But it didn't happen. Speaking of tornados, I did my homework on the 'Wizard Of Oz' before driving out here. It was all filmed in California. Dorothy's hometown, fictional or otherwise, is never named. Nothing to actually see here in Kansas, apart from an opportunistic museum near Topeka, the state capital, which I didn't bother with. I suppose the Oz theme might at least have provided me with a witty tagline with which to close out this year's travels, ie, "there's no place like home". But I'm not going home just yet.

I got to indulge my inner cretin by going to Dodge, purely so that I could get the hell out of it, ha ha. The main attraction there is the Boot Hill Museum, built on the site of the original main street, full of whisky saloons and other Wild West-themed exhibits. It's all rather stupid and pointless, but fun with it. See pictures below for the stupidest and pointlessest bits.

Elsewhere, I popped into Wichita, which has two pop music connections: 'Wichita Lineman' by Glen Campbell, and a brief mention in 'Seven Nation Army' by the White Stripes. And can I think of anything else interesting to say about Kansas? Can I heck. It looks like how you imagine it: flat, huge, full of farmland and not much else. Still, it's another new state visited, and I shall enlarge upon this theme in my next blog.

Little Jerusalem Badlands State Park
This is pretty much the only bit of actual scenery in Kansas.
Everything else is just fields.

Am I the only one who didn't know this???
At the Boot Hill Museum in Dodge City.

I'm appalled by this regressive attitude towards gender stereotypes.
Having only two options invalidates the lived experiences of non-binary people.
Solidarity with cowtheys and cowthems all over the world.

Wild West gunfight re-enactment at Boot Hill Museum.
Those are real guns, but they're firing blanks.
I'm pleased to say that Alec Baldwin was not involved.

Dick Liquor. Say it out loud. On second thoughts, don't.
This was in a little town called Chanute, Kansas. I did buy some beers here...
I didn't just stand outside doing a Beavis & Butthead impression. Honest.

Edd vs Food #108
Chicken Boss Burrito at Taco John's
I don't think I've reviewed a fast food chain in a while?
Better than Taco Bell, but not as good as Chipotle, and priced accordingly.
In Taco John's, the crunchy things on the right are called 'potato olés' rather than 'tater tots'.