Naples, Italy

Italy is often regarded as being in the shape of a boot, with the toe pointing south-west towards Sicily. But Naples is on the west coast, which makes me think that the 'boot' must be on backwards. Because Naples is truly the arsehole of Italy.

The metaphor works on more than one level. Neapolitan streets are strewn with faeces. I haven't done this much pedestrian poop-dodging since my childhood, in the days before dog-walkers carried plastic bags. But it's not just dogs that are to blame. Naples contains many homeless people, and few public toilets.

Turds are not the only hazard underfoot. Almost all of the roads and pavements are decades overdue for resurfacing. Sometimes there's no pavement at all. Crossing the street is like playing a simultaneous triple game of chicken, Frogger, and Russian roulette. Litter is everywhere. Even in the most degraded American downtowns, I've never seen junkies openly shooting up in broad daylight, but I broke that particular duck here.

I managed to cobble together some turd-free photos of the relatively nicer parts and that's what you see in the pictures below. Plus mainland Europe's only active volcano. I would have liked to climb Vesuvius - it's about the same height as Ben Nevis - but unfortunately the summit can only be reached as part of a guided tour, and that's not how I roll. Anyway, I've left Naples now, so if the volcano goes off again and turns the whole place into a smoking moonscape, that'll be just fine with me. Arrivederci.

Naples seen from afar (best way of seeing it)

Piazza Giovanni Bovio

A rainy day in the old town

Piazza Gian Battista Vico

Galleria Umberto I

Cheap AirBnB apartment

Edd vs Food #142
Moroccan couscous, chicken & vegetables
At Red Marrakech, Via Santa Chiara 7, Naples

Rome, Italy

They used to say that all roads lead to Rome. It's not true any more, but fortunately the A1 autostrada does still lead to Rome, and it was a pleasant 2.5 hour coach trip down from Siena on Flixbus. Flixbus are like National Express or Megabus back home, except that they turn up on time and it's only the toilet that smells like piss. Also, when you buy one ticket you get a discount on a second, which is an irresistible incentive for a grumpy old git like me to buy a double seat and indulge in some legally & morally justified man-spreading.

Anyway, Rome. I'm indifferent to the overhyped romantic associations of the place (think Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn zipping about on a scooter in 'Roman Holiday'). Still less am I interested in the prospect of a geriatric white-robed Argentinian communist being wheeled out onto a balcony to wave at me. But as with Florence a couple of weeks ago, and as with Athens six years ago, this is one of those places with too much history to ignore.

I suppose part of me was unconsciously expecting the Flixbus to trundle into Rome under vast stone arches, with crowds of plebeians and kneeling gladiators and toga-clad tribunes all hailing me as I passed. But soon enough reality imposed itself when we arrived at Rome's distinctly dingy Tiburtina bus station on a grey afternoon in late November. If you'd parachuted me in there blindfolded, my best guess would have been that I was in one of the less affluent former Warsaw Pact countries. But obviously once you get into the city centre, there's no mistaking where you are. 

It's quite eye-opening to see just how old everything is. For example, work first began on the Colosseum in the year VII, ie 7AD. At least those Roman numerals are easy to figure out. When I was a kid, the BBC closing credits always ended with MCMLXXXVIII or what have you. Really the ancient Romans had it easy. But it's no wonder they never figured out long division.

From the Colosseum I headed a short way north-west and found myself ticking off country number two of this trip, and country number sixty-one (I think) of my life to date. Specifically, the Vatican City. For the avoidance of doubt, yes it is 100% a country, and the world's smallest country at that. So small - and apologies for repeating here a fact from my 2016 blog - that it would all fit inside the Indy 500 racetrack.

Rome was always on my bucket list and I'm glad I came. That said, the city centre is just too manic for my tastes, even at this time of year. All those souvenir shops and ticket touts and street hawkers and pimps. All those signs everywhere advertising 'hop on hop off' (that's the ticket touts, not the pimps). There's no escaping the crowd of box-ticking tourists, no matter where you go. All you can do is join the crowd. Well, when in Rome, and all that.

Vittoriano

Forum

Circus

Colosseum

St Peter's Basilica in the Vatican City
"Religion...
That vast moth-eaten musical brocade
Created to pretend we never die"
Philip Larkin, 'Aubade'

Castle and bridge of St Angelo, built by the emperor Hadrian

Juturna temple

Pantheon

Aqueduct in the south-eastern suburbs

Tuscany, Italy

There's a lot more to Tuscany than just Florence. I thought about renting a car but really there's no need. You can get around fairly easily on the public extraurbani buses: there aren't many of them, but those that do run are timely and comfortable. Watching the hills and vineyards and cypress trees roll by from a bus window, even a slightly pikey bus window, suits me much better than shuffling through crowds of morons in Venice.

My personal favourite place in Tuscany is Siena, where I've been based for the past week. At this time of year the weather isn't quite as sunny as you'd like, but then there are fewer people around, and that's a good trade in my book. Through the week, the streets were pretty quiet. They filled up a bit at the weekend with guided-tour day trippers, to whom I felt very superior, because I'd been there since Wednesday and already knew my way round.

From Siena, I've visited the tiny walled hill towns of Monteriggioni, Lucignano, and San Gimignano. Also I previously took a day trip from Florence to Lucca, a bigger walled city - the top of the wall there is a wide traffic-free boulevard and you can walk all the way round (2.6 miles).

Anyway it's all very peaceful & pleasant right now so I'll keep it short for today. More to follow in due course.

Torre del Mangia, in the Piazza del Campo, in Siena

Siena cathedral at sunset

San Gimignano

Monteriggioni

Lucignano, up in the misty mountains

The walled city of Lucca, seen from the Guinigi tower

Misty rolling Tuscan hills, seen from the window of my Sienna apartment

Pizza Dog. It's a thing.
Hot dog in wrapped in pizza dough, with cheese & tomato.
Like pigs in blankets, but even less healthy.

Edd vs Food #141
A brace of Tuscan pizzas. One fishy, one piggy. 
From Lucca and San Gimignano respectively.
The one on the left wins just for sheer juicy tastiness.
After eating it, I bore a distinctive bouquet of tuna and onions for the rest of the day.