Edd's Travels: Lucknow, India

I must confess that I've very quickly grown tired of the constant stares and catcalls and requests for selfies. So much so that I'm generally giving a brisk "no thanks" to the selfie requests. It's not that I think there's anything wrong with it, or that I resent the people asking; it's just that I can't be bothered doing it every five minutes, and I don't feel guilty about that.

Younger males often shout out "wassup bro'?!" as I pass. I tell them that it's not an appropriate greeting for English people, but they should use it everywhere if they go to the USA, especially in Harlem or the Bronx.

Also I get a lot of unsolicited handshake requests and this is more significantly problematic in a country where, frankly, a lot of people still wipe their backsides with their hands. Just saying.

While I'm being grumpy, I'll add that India is The Land That Beer Forgot. Setting aside the total prohibition in Bihar (see previous blog), in most places it's a struggle to get even the halfway decent imported stuff like Budweiser or Heineken. Indian beer drinkers mostly go for the kind of low-budget extra-strong 8% ABV domestic lagers that make Special Brew taste like Chateau Rothschild, but are still pretty expensive, due to a baffling tax system that incentivises people to drink cheap spirits instead.

Might as well get all the grumpitude out in one blog. The other thing about India that bugs me is the over-attentive service culture. As a foreigner, you can't walk into a shop without an assistant running over to you and more or less putting his nose on your shoulder. In McDonalds, when you're using the self-service screens, they'll sidle up and start reaching over and pressing buttons that you didn't want to press. When you check into a hotel, any hotel, the bellboy will rush ahead of you into the room and begin a commentary of utter pointlessness ("here we have the bed where Sir will be sleeping, and also a television for viewing of the required programmes..." And this commentary continues without limit:"...that is the ceiling, this is the floor..." until you give them a 100-rupee tip and bundle them out of the door. I've taken to executing the tipping & bundling manouevre as soon as they put the bag down, before they get the chance to start talking.

Rant over. Lucknow is spectacular and everyone's friendly. See pictures below.

Lucknow Picture Museum

Chota Imambara

Rumi Darwaza. Note camel at left.

Bada Imambara
An Imambara is not quite the same as a mosque.
Here non-Muslims can go inside, but there are pictures of both the Iranian Ayatollahs displayed on the outside walls...
...so I opted to give it a miss.