Dollywood, TN

There are three car parks at Dollywood. They are not called A, B and C. They are called Applejack, Butterfly and Cotton Candy. As you might expect.

A grown man alone in Dollywood can only be taken for one of two things: gay, or a paedo. So today I wore my tightest T-shirt and clapped along with all the show tunes. There isn't anything in England comparable to Dollywood, as far as I'm aware. Is there a gap in the market for a camp-kitsch British theme park? Elton Towers, perhaps? Actually, Flamingoland is pretty camp. All those dainty little pink dudes, standing on one leg...

Here I was expecting to find some kind of colossal Dolly-glorifying ego trip, but in fact Dolly's name and image are mostly absent once you're past the entrance area. It's just a regular theme park, with big rides and overpriced food and plenty to keep the kids occupied. Anyway, it'd be hard to begrudge an ego trip from a woman who's seventy years old and only five feet tall.

If I had my own theme park, it would be called Edd-wood. Or if there was a theme park based on the lead actor from the TV series 'The Equaliser', it would be called Edward Woodward-wood...I'll shut up now, and let the pictures do the talking. Dollywood gets a thumbs up. My regular series of heroic manly adventures will be resumed in the next blog.

Dollywood

This is the Dolly's Closet clothes shop - 'Her Style, Your Size!!'
Also the Chasing Rainbows theatre. Shed Seven may yet sue.

Dolly, I will.
I will do all of these things.
For you.

Possibly this is a pun?

Rollercoasters at dusk

I looked up the actual King James Bible text for Philippians 4:6 and it reads:
"Be careful for nothing;
but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving
let your requests be made known unto God."
I suppose "Pray More Worry Less" is a reasonable paraphrase of that.

The WonderWorks museum in Pigeon Forge, just round the corner from Dollywood.

Right back at you, D!

This is how I got here, and this is how I left.
In style.