Wednesday 21 December 2016

Brooklyn, NY

Brooklyn is chronically, achingly hip. It is the Home of the Hipster. It is truly Hipster Heaven. It makes Camden Town look like South Shields. There isn't an unbearded man in sight. Sniffer dogs track down non-organic foodstuffs; underground server farms and hacker networks are deployed to neutralise all electronic devices other than latest-generation Apple products. Office workers, heterosexuals, and people wearing unripped jeans are regularly subjected to violent pogroms and chased out of town with pitchforks.

At this time of year Brooklyn is also cold. Excruciatingly cold. The kind of cold where you step outside and think 'ooh, that's nice & fresh' and then three blocks later you're reaching up to check that your ears are still there. I pulled my hoodie up over my head, thinking that I might thereby stay warm and also blend in with the local delinquents: however, on catching my reflection in a shop window, all I saw was Obi-Wan Kenobi. I'd forgotten about the beard, as well as the ears. I ended up walking over the Brooklyn Bridge during a snowstorm at minus 7 degrees C, which is not an experience I recommend. By the time I got into Manhattan, my beard had literally formed icicles and my extremities were disappearing off the map of my nervous system one by one. Just as I was beginning to hallucinate about alien quadrupeds that I could slice open and disembowel and curl up inside of, I found a nice warm woolly jumper in a hip alternative bohemian clothes shop (TJ Maxx) for $10. Yes, I'm a cheapskate. But it's the continual hunting of such bargains that allows me to save up for these adventures in the first place.

This particular adventure is now at an end, and I think it'll be quite a few years before I do any more USA road-tripping. Other continents beckon for the next trip...which will be a lot sooner that you might think...

Merry Christmas, in the meantime.


Journey's end