Sydney, Australia (continued)

Weather here continues to be very changeable. I caught a ferry to Manly on Monday morning and the weather was nice - fortunately I got back to the hostel just before it turned to torrential downpours. As well as the ferry there is a fast boat called the 'Manly Jetcat', which for some reason strikes me as a really good potential name for a band.

I have been keeping a fairly low profile in this hostel. Throughout America, and to a lesser extent New Zealand, there was a good mix of people & ages & nationalities everywhere I went. But in Sydney, or at least in this particular part of it (King's Cross), it seems like there are only dumb & shallow gap year students intent on having all-night conversations made up solely of the words 'ohmygod', 'like' and 'Facebook'. Yawn. And admittedly just about all of these annoying young things are English.

On a more positive note...last night (Tuesday) I went to the opera - Verdi's 'Otello'. No prizes for guessing the venue. I didn't know they had standing room at opera houses, but evidently they do, and that's how I got in for a piffling AU$40 (20 quid). Three hours is perhaps a bit long to stand, but then it's not much longer than a footy match with extra time and penalties, and I'd never object to standing all the way through that. And in the event I managed to blag my way into an empty seat at the interval. Not the greatest opera ever written, but it was entertaining enough. Surprisingly, this particular Othello was very much a white Othello (I think the boot-polish option is frowned upon these days). It's a good job Militant Black Guy wasn't there.

Right now I'm keeping a close eye on the news as my travel plans for South East Asia could be adversely affected if Thailand and Cambodia do end up going to war with each other. Come on fellas, sort it out. Scissors paper stone or something.

Bondi Beach (apparently this is 'winter')

Bizarrely well-maintained camper van

Sydney, Australia

Strewth! Yes, the hire car has gone back (with more than 3000km on the clock, and that's just on the South Island), the sheep have been bidden emotional farewells, and I have left New Zealand far behind. I had blithely assumed that the flight from Christchurch to Sydney was just a short hop: it was only 3 hours or so, but at 1319 miles it's still longer than (say) London to St Petersburg.

Contrary to my prior assumptions, I got no real hassle from the Aussie immigration people. The only reason that they said anything to me at all was that I'd ticked the 'have visited rural areas in NZ' box on my customs form and so they asked to see the soles of my shoes as a result. Also the sniffer dog lingered around my bag, but I explained that there had been a ham & egg sandwich in there earlier, and they left it at that.

Sometimes I'm amazed that people are still reading this shite.

Anyway! Sydney...It absolutely pissed down with rain for the whole of my first night and day here, but I kept myself occupied with my usual literary & academic pursuits. Today however the sun shone brightly, so I went out for my traditional Immensely Long Walk and saw all the sights, and perused the delights of the city centre. As can no doubt be attested to by those among my faithful readers who've been to Sydney, and I know there are a few, it's an absolutely fabulous place with plenty to do and look at.

In the Chicago subway the buskers were rapping; in Haight-Ashbury they were playing sitars; today in central Sydney there was a comely young opera singer belting out soprano arias 'a capella' (ie without any instrumental backing). She hit a few quite impressive high notes. I reckon I could have gotten a few higher ones out of her given the chance, ha ha ha. Ahem. See photos.

Next update will be Wednesday I think.

Sydney Tower, from the Archibald Fountain in Hyde Park

Hot Opera Girl

Sydney Opera House and Harbour Bridge

Christchurch, New Zealand

It's now more than two months since I hopped on that flight to New York. I've never been away from home for anything like this long. But like everything else in life, you get used to it after a while.

In all my travels around New Zealand I have been assured by locals and travellers alike that Christchurch is the one place in the country which most resembles a 'European city'. If I'd known that the 'European city' in question was Middlesbrough then I might perhaps have been in less of a hurry to get here. This place is a shit tip. Even without the grey skies and drizzle, it really does resemble one of the less nice cities of northern England, except with an unwelcome added seedy side - brothels are legal, and ubiquitous, over here.

On Monday I left Dunedin and drove north to the Rock and Pillar range of hills, and had a brief hike which I had to cut short as the snow got a bit too deep further up the hill. The weather was OK enough but I just couldn't see the track beneath the snow. The photo was taken from halfway up, while I was still nervously trudging past herds of cattle which all stopped chewing as I approached, and stared at me in motionless and rather intimidating silence as I passed. (By the way, yes, my camera is working again.) I drove on for a while and spent the night in Twizel, not far from Mt Cook (tallest mountain in NZ at 12,349 feet). Yesterday the weather was a bit naff so I thought I might as well just hit the road and drive all the way to Christchurch, which, as mentioned above, I'm beginning to regret slightly. At least my hostel is decent enough. But the next blog update will bring news of a fairly substantial change of scenery.

View over Highway 87 from the Rock and Pillar Range

Dunedin, New Zealand

Apologies for the distinct slowing-down of my blog entries in recent days. In remote parts of New Zealand there aren't many internet cafes and nor is there much mobile phone reception to speak of.

When I wrote my last entry, on the 16th, I had just pitched up at the lakefront in Te Anau. The next day (Thursday 17th) I went on a walk up Mount Luxmore, which overlooks the lake from the west. The summit of Mt Luxmore is a proper mountain, ie steep and pointy and covered with snow, so I obviously wasn't going to go all the way up. But there's a hut at the 1000 metre mark where one can sit and eat one's hastily prepared cheese sandwiches and enjoy some pretty special views. By the lakefront it had been dull and overcast; climbing up through the forest it was cool and misty; at the peak I was above the clouds and the sky was blue. See photos.

On Friday I boarded a bus and headed off to Milford Sound, which was obviously always going to be one of the focal points of my trip to NZ. The bus from Te Anau to the Sound stopped several times to let us all get out and take pictures, as there's nearly as much to be seen on the way as there is when you get there. The weather at the Sound itself was OK, we could see everything, but the light wasn't great (it probably would have stopped play at Lord's) so most of my photos didn't come out so well. The ones that were passable or better have been uploaded. One of them is a bit blurry but I've included it because there's a boat near the bottom of the picture which indicates the scale of the place. It goes without saying that Milford Sound is beautiful and awe-inspiring and lots of other cliched terms like that.

Yesterday I headed out to the south coast, and then east to the Catlins, where there are sea lions and lighthouses and also a signpost marking the South Island's southernmost tip. (Sadly by this point my camera had died completely for some reason and it doesn't look likely to recover, so I don't have any more photos. Fortunately, said camera didn't cost me anything! I 'liberated' it from a former employer who will remain nameless. I will buy a new one in duty free next time I'm in an airport, which has obviously happened to me rather often of late.) Stayed the night in Owaka, a rather bleak and desolate place but a very plush hostel, and today drove up to Dunedin. Here I experienced the joys ofthe world's steepest street - Baldwin Street. If you don't believe me then look it up. Also went up the Otago Peninsula in the hope of finding penguins and sea lions and stuff, but sadly without success.Indeed New Zealand as a whole is not all that great for wildlife. The forests I've walked through have been almost eerily quiet, apart from the odd wood pigeon. My insect repellent has gone unused. Evidently there was an abundant and diverse bird population in New Zealand for many millions of years, until humans came along and brought with them cats and dogs and (especially) stoats, animals which developed a penchant for climbing trees and eating bird's eggs and thus just about wiping the poor little tweeters out. As mentioned in the previous entry, me and my hired Nissan have been making sturdy progress in finishing them off completely. Humans eh?

Hope everyone is well! Next update from me in another day or two (or three, or four...)

Milford Sound

Milford Sound

Milford Sound

Milford Sound

Mirror Lakes, on the road to Milford Sound

Clouds over Lake Te Anau

More clouds over Lake Te Anau



Te Anau, New Zealand

The birds here are pretty slow-witted. They hardly see you coming, and then before they know it, they're under you. Sadly it's birds of the feathered variety I'm talking about. I think I've accidentally but brutally killed at least three so far on the deserted rural roads of New Zealand. I try not to, but obviously I'm not about to make a self-endangering swerve when I'm negotiating tricky mountain passes and the nearest hospital/towtruck is hundreds of miles away. Sorry Tweety.

Another gripe I have about New Zealand is the complete absence of any kind of actual literature in the bookshops. I went through about six different bookshops in three different towns and couldn't find anything worth reading at all. You can get the latest Harry Potter; you can get 'How To Get Your Spirit In Touch With Princess Di'; you can get the memoirs of Shayne Sploonaroonga who kept wicket for West Auckland B in the early 70s; but God forbid you might want to read something serious. I hate to judge (cough splutter) because everyone I've met so far in NZ has been friendly enough.

Anyway, gripes over. After writing the previous entry in Kaikoura on Friday morning, I drove up to Picton, and it was very nice there but the heavens opened and I had to stay there for two nights just waiting for the weather to clear. I don't mind a bit of wind and rain, but when the visibility is down to ten metres or whatever then there isn't really much point in leaving the hostel, apart from going to the pub. I'm in no hurry anyway. After Picton I drove west along the North Coast to Nelson, and then south-west inland across to Greymouth, where I stayed two nights. The hostel there was extremely well-appointed and indeed rather eerie...all carved African statues and incense and soft music everywhere.

On Monday I climbed Mt Te Kinga, a modest scramble of 4,000 feet or so, and yesterday I spent the whole day driving down from Greymouth to Cromwell. Cromwell wasn't my destination of choice, but Wanaka and Queenstown were both absolutely jam-packed as it's ski season in that part of the world.

I did have a wander through Queenstown this morning, and finally found a bookshop which could sell me something worth reading ('Bleak House'). I also found a record shop which sold cheap old cassettes for me to play in my hire car! When I first got the car, the guy at the car hire place said I was allowed to pick three cassettes from the pile they had. I took three and then obviously I nicked another three when he wasn't looking. So far I've been making do with Barry White, Al Green, Stevie Wonder, Elton John, the Beatles and a naff 80s compilation. After today's shopping trip I have now added A-ha, the Pointer Sisters, Hall & Oates, Bobby Brown and Peter Gabriel. Mint.

I'm now pitched up at the lakefront in Te Anau, which is not a bad place to be, all things considered.

So far New Zealand has mainly been just one big drive. But the scenery is such that just driving in itself is a pleasure. I would love to do justice to everything I've seen, but it's beyond my talents to do so in prose, and even more so in photographs. Nonetheless I have been busily snapping away on my cheap camera to the best of my abilities, and my meagre efforts are now available for your viewing pleasure. One of the photos is of Kawarau Gorge, in which there is a waterfall called Roaring Meg. Blackadder fans should feel free to make their own jokes about 'roaring and gorging' in their own time.

Til next time!

Franz Josef Glacier

Lake Wakatipu (I think)

Kawarau Gorge

Lake Hawea

Somewhere on the west coast of the South Island

View from the top of Mount Te Kinga

Somewhere on the road

Picton harbour (South Island port for ferries to and from the North Island)

Cromwell, New Zealand

Just a quick one to confirm that I'm alive and well. Have been busy for the past few days and haven't found time to update the blog or upload photos. A full update and a big pile of new pictures will follow within the next couple of days. Honest.

Kaikoura, New Zealand

I'm now on the South Island, and my trusty little white Toyota has been replaced by a trusty medium-sized white Nissan. No definite plans right now, other than proceeding round the coastal areas of the whole island in an anti-clockwise direction and taking advantage of the fact that it's winter and a lot of the hostels are quiet (I had an 8-bed dorm to myself on Tuesday night) so I don't need to book in advance. The opposite was true in America: all the hostels were packed out, and so being spontaneous was a prohibitively expensive habit as it meant you ended up having to pay rack rate in a hotel.

Went out on Monday night - my room-mate Dan (who is from Leeds and who took a rather unfair amount of stick from me as a result) was heading off to Australia, having worked at the hostel for a few weeks doing the BBQ, so it was kind of a leaving do for him. Out came the Jagermeisters and, er, oh dear. Went out again on Tuesday night and played pool in a pub down the road from the hostel. Me and some weirdo stoner Kiwi guy played doubles with two girls, one Aussie and one Kiwi. Our first match was boys onto girls and obviously that was a bit one-sided (sorry ladies!).So for the next game it was me and Anna the Kiwi versus Neil the stoner and Carly the Aussie; the prize for the winners was choosing a song for the losers to sing on the karaoke. Anna & I triumphed, and thus did Neil & Carly find themselves singing 'I Can See Clearly Now', very badly indeed (and in Neil's case, stoned as he was, not entirely truthfully).

It's not all been drunken tomfoolery though. Having the hire car has given me the freedom to just drive around and stop wherever takes my fancy. It's worth doing just for the drive itself. On TuesdayI stopped at a place called Baylys Beach and that made a headlong impact straight into my Favourite Places On Earth - I didn't have my camera with me but you can look it up. Miles and miles of completely spotless beach, blue skies, blue sea, cliffs & dunes, &c. Technically you're allowed to drive on the sand but I had nightmarish visions of my hire car sinking in quicksand or being swept out to sea so I didn't take any chances on that score.

I spent Wednesday driving back to Auckland, and on Thursday morning I got my flight over to Christchurch and then drove up here to Kaikoura. See pictures. More in a few days.

Kaikoura

Cape Reinga

Cape Reinga

Paihia, New Zealand

After arriving in Auckland and writing the last update, I hired a bicycle and set off round the 50km cycle path which circles the main part of the city. The sun was shining and the harbour was lovely, so everything was going swimmingly at first. However when I got to the halfway point the heavens opened and all of a sudden things were going swimmingly in a rather too literal fashion. I got drenched from head to toe. Admittedly I wasn't wearing a waterproof...admittedly I haven't brought one on my trip...ahem.

So I took the bike back, got dried off, and spent the rest of Thursday and all of Friday exploring Auckland on foot.It's a nice enough city but to be quite honest it's nothing to write home about. So I hired myself a little white Toyota and spent Saturday driving up north to Paihia, in the Bay of Islands, which is where I am now. Today I drove all the way up to Cape Reinga, the very northernmost tip of NZ, with a look at the Ninety Mile Beach along the way. It's winter here at present, hence the sporadic heavy rainfall and winds, but on the whole the weather is still perfectly tolerable. And being able to drive on the left is a huge plus. But I've had to settle for automatic transmission, and my left foot is beginning to atrophy and waste away as a result.

Although I never really noticed any difference between American accents and Canadian accents, apart from the latter saying 'eh' after every sentence, I have very quickly learned how to distinguish Aussie from Kiwi. To produce an Aussie accent, you just have to impersonate someone from 'Neighbours'; for a Kiwi accent, you have to impersonate a South African impersonating someone from 'Neighbours'. Every vowel sound reverts to 'eeee'. Simple.

Once again I am grossly offended to find M*gpies intruding upon my personal domain. There's a lass in my dorm (she sleeps in the next dorm cos that's where her boyfriend is) and it turns out she's from Gosforth. 'Eeeeh, a Mack-am in me rooooom' she exclaimed disapprovingly. To add insult to injury, when everyone was debating what video we should all watch in the TV room, she was instrumental in building a consensus for 'Notting Hill'. Slut. I ignored the film and ate my tea, but even just the sound of Hugh Grant stuttering and smarming his way round Julia Roberts made my fear for my ability to keep from projectile vomiting over all four walls. So I hastily departed for the pub to watch the rugby instead.

Photo updates will follow as soon as I get to a suitable computer.

Auckland, New Zealand

Oh my God I can't believe it, I've never been this far away from home...

San Fran was a blast, but all good things must come to an end. I got a very short and very scenic flight to Los Angeles, followed by a much longer and not in the least bit scenic non-stop flight over the Pacific. I don't know if I was alone in presuming the time difference to be much more than what it is - it's only 5 hours. Well, technically it's 19 hours, but obviously it makes more sense to regard it as 5 hours and skip a day. In my particular case, Wednesday July 2nd 2008 is the day that never was and never will be. Strange things, international date lines.

Getting into the USA was a doddle, all smiles; getting into Canada was a bit more troublesome; and this morning I got the full grilling and bag search before I could get into New Zealand. This trend does not bode well for Australia - it could well be rubber glove time. I don't mind just so long as I get some foreplay, ha ha ha. (Before anyone asks, yes I have already got my visa sorted out, don't worry.)

So anyway, it's now 7.20am in Auckland and I'm checked into my hostel OK and I did manage to get some sleep on the plane so I'm feeling OK and I don't expect jetlag to be a problem, just as it wasn't when I got to New York.

I must admit to knowing absolutely sod-all about this country in advance of my arrival. The only things I can think of that I'd associate with New Zealand are sheep, mountains, and Lord of the Rings. Oh aye, and the All Blacks. And Crowded House. And the Anzacs. So that's quite a few things really. But my plan has always been to just put down my bags and have a look at the noticeboards and talk to people and see what's going on.

On the bus from the airport into town, I was very pleased to realise (suddenly and belatedly) that they drive on the left in this country. Hurrah! Might be time to finally exercise the car hire option. Next update will follow when something actually happens.