"I come from Des Moines," Bill Bryson once wrote. "Somebody had to."
It's actually quite a nice city, and I can imagine that living here would be perfectly pleasant. But I'm struggling to think of anything interesting to tell you about it. Fortunately I timed my visit (unwittingly) to coincide with the one notable event that actually happens here, which is the annual Iowa State Fair, a celebration of Iowa's huge farming industry and also a must-do for any presidential candidate in an election year. This is a mid-term year, but nonetheless former VP (and undeclared candidate for 2024) Mike Pence showed up at the fair a couple of days after I did.
There was a stall selling edible crickets. Yes, as in the insects. They're full of protein, apparently, and farming them produces a carbon footprint many times lower than traditional sources of meat. I opted not to indulge. But they were advertised as a 'Gateway Bug' (gateway drug, geddit?) and that won my personal Pun Of The Fair contest, comfortably beating the 'Southpork Ranch' and a cow-based exhibit called the 'Mooseum'.
English is not my AirBnB hostess's first language and this has given me an opportunity to practice my slightly rusty Spanish. Obviously the USA has millions of people of Mexican descent and indeed birth, but I'm reluctant to open conversations in Spanish in case it comes across like I'm assuming they can't speak English. There's also the fact that Mexican accents are quite tricky to get used to. Most of the tuition I've had in England has been from Colombians, who are much easier to understand. This is why I generally root for Team Escobar when watching episodes of 'Narcos' on YouTube.
By the way, both of the letter 'S's in the name Des Moines are silent, and it's "deh-moyn" not "day-moyn". So now you know.
 |
| Downtown Des Moines |
 |
| Cattle on show at the Iowa State Fair |
 |
| This is not an Edd vs Food. Even for a human dustbin like me, the thought of actually eating a Pork Picnic was just too much. |
 |
| Let's call him....Sean |
 |
| Caught in a thunderstorm downtown. Hurrah for public pianos. Especially ones on which all of the keys work and are in tune. |
 |
| Signs like this are ubiquitous in the more prosperous American suburbs. All very worthy, although 'no human being is illegal' is somewhat vacuous. If that were true, we wouldn't lock our front doors at night. But we do. |
 |
| Edd vs Food #106 Poutine at El Bait Shop, 200 SW 2nd St, Des Moines, IA. Poutine is a Canadian dish: basically meat, potatoes, cheese, and gravy. This one was very generous with the tater tots, but distinctly stingy with the cheese curds. |
