Vilnius, Lithuania

Unlike Tallinn and Riga, Vilnius is hundreds of miles from the sea and sits on a small river, so it can't be reached by cruise ships. It's probably the least touristy of the three Baltic capitals. As you might expect, it has become my favourite of the three.

My apartment here is 'bohemian' in the genuine sense of the word. I do believe that this is the first time I have had an actual divan to myself. See picture below. The weather has been pretty darn hot, to the extent that some of my long walks have been curtailed due to sweat-related chafing. (Just thought I'd share.) And for the first time on this trip I've taken a proper interest in the local food. The classic Lithuanian dish is cold beetroot soup: it's nicer than it sounds. Also, when I saw 'potato zeppelins' on a menu, there was no way I could refuse. Again, see picture below.

The journeys from Tallinn to Riga and from Riga to Vilnius cost €28 each and both took about 4 hours, courtesy of an individual 'lounge' seat on a Lux bus. Naturally there are cheaper options on pikey buses, but I'm older than I used to be and no longer willing to tolerate annoying strangers sitting next to me unless it's absolutely necessary.

In truth there isn't a whole lot to see on those bus journeys, other than large expanses of flat farmland and the occasional small town. I can't help but imagine what it was like just one lifetime ago, with German tanks rolling east, or Soviet tanks rolling west. It seems to me that the various national monuments and memorials in the Baltic countries are admirably restrained, taking into account the struggles and suffering they've undergone to get to where they are today. But of course it's hard to travel anywhere in Europe without stumbling across an old grievance of some kind or other. Anyway we're lucky to live in happier times, where a free and independent Lithuania has the confidence to advertise its capital to the world as the 'G-spot of Europe'. You might think I'm kidding, but I'm not (check out the advert here). Bless 'em.

Central Vilnius, pictured from the top of Gediminas Castle (see next picture)

National Museum of Lithuania
Gediminas Castle (see previous picture) in the background

Vilnius has a museum dedicated to amber
(of which the Baltic area is home to the world's largest known deposits).

Military parade outside the cathedral. I don't know what for.
Maybe it was National Amber Day or something (see previous picture)

Vilnius Cathedral and the Palace of the Grand Dukes of Lithuania.
Again this was taken from Gediminas Castle.

Trakai
A short bus ride from Vilnius, it hosts Eastern Europe's only island castle.
Hot air balloons float overhead at dusk.

My Vilnius digs. Note the divan.

Edd vs Food #79
Potato 'zeppelins' at the Stikliai Tavern
Washed down with 500ml of Dundulis Humulupu IPA

Riga, Latvia

I've decided that from now on each blog update will include a picture of my accommodation. This will provide a more vivid picture of what my life is actually like on the road. Also it reduces the need for me to keep taking the same predictable photos as all the other tourists.

Anyway the Edd vs Bed series (don't worry, I'm not really going to call it that) begins with another 'bohemian' apartment. In this case 'bohemian' refers to the apartment itself rather than the surrounding area. Basically it means I'm living in somebody else's house - they're away somewhere, I don't know where - and they couldn't be arsed to free up any space in their cupboards, or check the fridge for dangerously out-of-date foodstuffs, or indeed clean the apartment properly, before handing the place over to me via a key left in a rain-filled plant pot outside the back door.

In fairness this place is at least neither 'cosy' (meaning miniscule) nor 'quaint' (meaning last redecorated in the 1970s). There is a nice exposed-brick bathroom with a roomy walk-in shower. Also I have induction plates to cook on, and they're a bit peculiar but they're preferable to some older electric hobs, in that their heat level corresponds to the setting I choose and not some obscure inverse logarithm of it.

Riga is a place of considerable architectural interest, although much of the recently-renovated Old Town is a bit too squeaky clean for my taste. In this blog I have made reference before to Uncle Monty's dictum that "there can be no true beauty without decay." Also the barbershops are outrageously expensive in the touristy areas. €30 for a headshave! Even if the wi-fi is free, and even if they make good on the promise of a free shot of single-malt whisky, that's too much. I went south over the river and walked a mile or two in order to get my bonce buzzed by a bemused non-English-speaking local for just €6.

One realm in which I don't mind spending extra money is of course beer. The best place to buy the good stuff here is a bottle shop called Callous Alus. 'Alus' is the Latvian word for 'ales', you see, and I guess Callous was the only English rhyme they could come up with. If only they'd called it Phallus Alus. Then they could have created an amusing logo where the 'P' was a risqué graphic hinting at brewer's droop. But I digress. Latvian craft beer is pretty good, as was the Estonian stuff, even though there's nothing in particular to write home about just yet. Only one Baltic state left to check out!

Freedom Monument

In the heart of the Old Town

House of Blackheads
Built 1334, destroyed by German bombing during WW2, rebuilt 1999

Elsewhere in the Old Town

Bastejkalna Park

National Library of Latvia
In theory this is the kind of building I should really hate...
...but for some reason I actually quite like it.

My digs in Riga. £34 a night, all in.

Edd vs Food #78
Beer platter at Folkklubs
That black bread doesn't half sit on the stomach.
There were mushrooms hidden under the bacon, but luckily I spotted them just in time.

Tallinn, Estonia

Sea travel hasn't featured much in this blog over the years, apart from some minor excursions here & there, and a quick return trip across the River Plate from Buenos Aires to Uruguay in 2012. The ferry across the Gulf of Finland from Helsinki to Tallinn was about 50 miles, and as such it was the longest sea journey I've ever made. (At £20 or so, it beats the Shields Ferry on a cost-per-mile basis by a factor of about six.) You can't see Tallinn from Helsinki, or vice versa obviously, but you can see both places from halfway across.

There are many interesting snippets of Soviet history here in Tallinn, most notably the Linnahall, a vast pile of concrete put up as an athletics venue for the Summer Olympics in 1980. On a sunny day it looks like something out of 'Star Wars' and at night it looks like something out of 'Blade Runner'. Nowadays it stands empty, because nobody really knows what to do with it. But it is at least a handy place to sit and watch the sun go down, across the harbour to the west.

I had a vague idea that Tallinn was an up-and-coming stag/hen destination, a sort of Prague in the making, but in truth I didn't see any drunken idiots the whole time I was here. Even on a sunny day in the heart of the Old Town, things aren't too crowded. It's much cheaper than Finland, without being noticeably less pleasant. There is good coffee and good food available everywhere you look. And a full 5-day bus & tram pass is literally just €6, plus €2 for the rechargable card. In summary, Tallinn is a splendid place which I recommend to everybody.

Also I have an exciting food update. There's a Finnish burger chain called Hesburger. I didn't get round to checking it out while I was in Helsinki, but they're heavily present elsewhere in the region - indeed they have more outlets in the Baltic states than McDonalds do. Anyway they do a Halloumi Burger and it is the absolute bomb. Grilled halloumi, caramelised red onion, lettuce, tomato, and sweet pepper mayo. In a bun. Which you can buy as a stand-alone item for just €1.70. Hesburger need to expand into the UK as soon as possible and I shall be emailing Ursula von der Leyen to this effect forthwith.

St Olaf's Church, seen from high up in the Old Town.
It's currently being renovated, hence the big square condom thing around it.

Alexander Nevsky Cathedral

Kadriorg Palace, built by Peter the Great as a summer residence for his wife Catherine.
A bit like the Taj Mahal, only less morbid.

I don't think I want one of these.

Resort Hall in Haapsalu, a small town on Estonia's north-west coast.

Beach near Haapsalu

Edd vs Food #77
Hesburger - see above

Helsinki, Finland

Finland, Finland, Finland
The country where I want to be
Finland, Finland, Finland
It’s the country for me.
(Monty Python)

One of the things I enjoy most when travelling is to arrive in a new place without any plans, preconceptions or expectations at all. No deadlines, no queues, no list of must-see places. Just an unfamiliar place in which to wander around and see what, if anything, is what.

Helsinki is just such a place. I knew nothing about this city or indeed this country before I arrived, apart from that Litmanen chap who used to play for Liverpool, and also the fact that they all put up a jolly good show against hopeless odds when the Soviets marched in, unprovoked, in 1939. One of many such episodes to bear in mind next time you see a young hipster wearing a 'CCCP' T-shirt. It's slightly disconcerting to note that the Russian border is only 2 hours away by road. 1939 was a long time ago, but 2008 (Georgia) and 2014 (Crimea) are reminders that leopards don't change their spots, and nor do bears.

Admittedly, it isn't entirely true that I have no preconceptions about Scandinavia. I have a stereotyped picture of the males as looking like either the blokes out of ABBA or Dolph Lundgren, and of the females as resembling either the women out of ABBA or Brigitte Nielsen. A couple of hours at Stockholm airport, changing planes from Dublin, did nothing to dispel this prejudice. And I certainly wasn't wearing beer goggles, because I couldn't find anything drinkable in that airport for less than roughly £12 a glass.

My other prejudice was that the streets would all be clean, orderly and quiet. Again this has mostly been borne out by the facts. Mostly, but not totally. I'm staying in a cheap studio apartment and it's cheap for a reason - the neighbourhood is distinctly dodgy. Indeed the apartment building is literally next door to a brothel (or 'Erotic Showroom', if you please).

Scandinavian languages generally use the same basic sounds as English, and sometimes in crowded places full of chatter you can forget you're in a foreign country - it's only when you try to tune in and actually listen that you realise the words make no sense. And I confess that I haven't made any attempt to start with Finnish, so to speak, ha ha. But all the locals speak English very well. Actually, come to think of it, the average person here speaks English better than the average person in Sunderland. So I can't say I'm missing home just yet. The football season starts again in a few weeks, but then that's just another reason to stay on holiday...

Central Helsinki.
Note the total absence of litter.

Taco Bell and Beer House. Every street should look like this.

Architectural smorgasbord, to borrow a Swedish word

A small island just off the south shore of Helsinki, called Uunisaari.
(Finnish has lots of vowels.)

Helsinki Cathedral

Senate Square, seen from the cathedral steps.
Note how this scene is completely ruined by the tourist coaches.
I walked here and therefore I'm a good person.

Porvoo, just to the east of Helsinki, and Finland's second smallest town.
Those red wooden houses may look like some kind of trendy Ikea eco-thing...
...but in fact they date from the late 18th century.

Have you ever seen a less appetising pizza than this?

Dublin, Ireland

Despite my best efforts over the past decade or so, there are still many significant gaps in my travelling CV: Africa, the Middle East, Russia, Scandinavia...But of all the countries I’ve never visited, the most glaring omission is the one right next door to home. I’m pleased finally to set that right.

I got here on a bus from Belfast just in time to catch the end of Dublin Pride (it's d'gays, Farder, d'gays, dey're everywhere!). The city centre is of course nightmarishly touristy and expensive, so I'm staying a few miles out of town, along the coast near Dun Laoghaire. My B&B describes itself, somewhat optimistically, as both 'cosy' and 'quaint'. In the desk drawer there are magazines from 2013, and the proprietor is ninety years old if he's a day. But it's comfortable enough and I have a pleasant half-hour commute on the DART train into the city to see the sights.

One thing I haven't done in Dublin is have a pint of Guinness. There's a popular myth that it's better here, but in fact the Guinness that we drink in the UK is brewed in exactly the same place as the Irish stuff, ie in Dublin. The reason for the perceived difference is simply that much more of it is drunk here, and so the kegs and draft lines are more likely to be fresh. There are also questions of temperature and serving technique in which Irish bar staff are generally better versed.

As is so often the case, spending time in a capital city just makes me feel like I haven't even begun to do justice to the country I'm visiting. One day I shall definitely come back to both parts of this island and hire a car to explore properly, away from all the guided tours and tourist tat.

In the meantime the element of surprise, which was rather missing here, will be reintroduced with my next blog. I’m catching an aeroplane and none of you will guess where I’m headed. Anyway it’s time for a change of scenery, so it is, to be sure.

Central Dublin
The new bit, with 'iconic' buildings & bridges, etc.

Presidential residence in Phoenix Park

Phoenix Park again.
In 1882 the Chief Secretary & Permanent Undersecretary for Ireland were assassinated here.
It was arguably one of the most significant events in the mutual history of the UK & Ireland.
And yet the spot is marked only by a small gravel cross embedded in the turf
(see the slight indentation near the bottom & centre of the picture).

Pier at Dun Laoghaire

Sandycove

Edd vs Food #76
Lovinspoon, 13 Frederick St North, Dublin 1
Full Irish breakfast. Not all that much different from an English or Scots brekkie.
Obviously no complaints here. Although I did forget to ask them to hold the mushrooms.