Anyway, here I am, staying with a friend on a small island in the Hawkesbury River, far enough north of central Sydney that the property prices are almost within reach of your average ordinary surgeon. The population of Dangar Island is a shade over 250: and what toddler playgroups are to cough germs, small communities are to gossip. I went to the local bowling club to watch the Melbourne Cup - that's Australia's version of the Grand National - and before the froth had even settled on my first pint, I'd heard enough dirt for a new Jackie Collins novel (and someone new is needed to write them now, right? Whoops, bad taste). I was tempted to feed it all into a spreadsheet; and if an STD clinic ever sets up on Dangar Island, they could save a lot of time and money by just testing one person, because my spreadsheet could then give them everybody else's diagnosis by logical inference. I can almost hear a song playing: "Neighbours...everybody shags their neighbours..."
I'm just kidding. It's not like that really. There are plenty of normal people on the island. But they're all handcuffed and gagged in an underground bunker.
Incidentally, the word 'Dangar' is pronounced to rhyme with 'hanger', not with 'man car'. Another available rhyme is 'ranga' - short for orangutan - an Aussie slang term for 'ginger'. We gingers can also be referred to as 'Fanta pants'. Such are the bigoted depths of gingerphobia to which I find myself subjected. Am I not a man and a brother, etc?
I escaped the island for a day's tour of the wineries in the nearby Hunter Valley. McGuigan's and Lindemans are the best-known among them. I'm a bit of a wine philistine, admittedly, but free samples are always received gratefully. From a more informed perspective, I can salute the Hunter Beer Company for bucking the Australian trend with some decent ales. However the best beer I've had in Oz overall is a Fremantle brew called Little Creatures IPA. This deserves to be exported.
After Dangar I'll be returning to civilisation, assuming I make it off the island in one piece before they finish putting up the wicker cage...
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| Dangar Island, looking not at all ominous as dusk falls |
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| Dangar Island by day |
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| Edd vs Food #32 Random pile of Turkish grub at the Sultan's Table, 179 Enmore Road, Sydney. Apologies for the rubbish photo. |
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| Edd vs Fast Food #10 A chicken burrito at Mad Mex (see what they did?) in Sydney Airport. I can forgive the fact that the wrapper looks a bit like a Hugh Hefner dressing gown. But having guacamole as a $2 optional extra is simply unacceptable. It's a burrito. Just put the guac in and hand it over. |
